I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
