just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
