so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
