can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
