doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
