are you still at the devil's house?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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