he shaved USA in his pubs
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
