Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
