I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
