He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
