u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need a beard to bite.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
