A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
