I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
