I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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