Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
