It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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