The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
