It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
