so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
