And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
