believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
