trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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