Will you blow on my dice?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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