Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
