How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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