her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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