i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
