I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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