You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
In America we eat man semen.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
