I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ugly people sure do ruin things
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
