every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
