Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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