have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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