well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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