What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
