Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
