her vagine was all disorganized.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize