ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
