My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
