five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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