i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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