I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
