You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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