i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
