omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
