so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
