I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
