all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
