you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
