youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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