Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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