You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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