Ambien. No doubt about it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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