I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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