I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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