SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
